As we enter the time of rebirth that is marked by Spring, some of us will be starting a part of our lives over again in the wake of a recent heartbreak, divorce, or other painful experience in a relationship that has run its course. Like a season that has lasted for months, we begin to get familiar with the people we share our lives with just as we get used to wearing coats and snow boots when the temperature is cold. Yet just as we know there is a time to put away the items that sustained us through the Winter, we also must know how and when to put away the parts of our pasts that no longer serve a purpose in our lives and how to begin again with new things that are appropriate for the time we are now in. If you have starting the new season as a recently single person it may take some time to get adjusted to your “new normal.” Here are three tips to help you spring forward in the right way.
Spring into Self-Confidence
Not all relationships end due to betrayal or rejection but when they do, it can take a toll on our confidence and self-esteem. At this time, we can find ourselves in a vulnerable position to be hurt again if we are not careful in how we proceed in the stages of healing. If this sounds like you, be sure to take time to properly assess what has happened and understand that no matter how things may have ended, it is not a reflection of your worth or value. Spend time with yourself doing things you enjoy. Consider taking up a new hobby, attending an interesting class you’ve been putting off, planning a trip with your girlfriends, and above all, praying for a renewed mind as it relates to your self-image and value. These types of activities and habits bring us in tune with our gifts, talents and can boost our confidence so that we are not in a state of desperation when the time comes to move on to a new relationship.
Spring into Wisdom
If you are recently broken up, there may likely be people around you who have opinions about when and how you should begin a new relationship. While they are often well-meaning, it is important not to let pressure from others influence you to jump into anything you are not ready for. Relationships are complex and it takes hard work to see your vision for a healthy relationship be established. As the people around you offer up advice, ask God for the wisdom to embrace what is helpful for us and tune out what is not. Advice to begin a new relationship to quench loneliness, gain financial security or fill a sexual need may sound good on the front end, but can easily make things harder for you on the back end if you do not receive Godly wisdom in your life. Only He truly understands what you have been through as well as what it will take to be ready for a new and healthy relationship.
Spring into Healing
There are no guarantees in love. Every time we allow ourselves to become attached to someone, we simultaneously invite the possibility a rejection that we may or may not be ready to absorb after a breakup. Knowing whether or not we are truly ready to move on is vital to having a healthy set of expectations when we finally decide to do so. One of my mentors explains it like this: “If you are open to rejection and it P.S. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to rebuild after the end of a long and meaningful relationship? I would love to hear from you in the comments below!
Dealing with a break up is hard and the pain of rejection can seem unending. However, each day offers a new opportunity for healing and renewal. In this season, take advantage of learning from the past as your move gracefully into the future God is creating for you. If in this time you are in need of help and support to guide you through your challenges, email me at lolita@navigatingtheheart.com. Be blessed.
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