Forgiveness
In the profession of Life Coaching, I have worked with several clients who have struggled to overcome issues that are rooted in a lack of forgiveness for things that have happened in their past. Many people have their own respective ideas about what it means to forgive, yet to put it simply, forgiveness means to excuse a fault or to pardon one of an offense. People kick the term around often, but many are seldom able to overcome offense. Reasons for this include feelings that a particular offense is not forgivable, they don’t want to forgive or the offense hasn’t ceased yet. If you have found yourself being challenged with an inability to forgive, here are three things to keep in mind as you grow towards the healing you seek:
1) All Offense Calls For Forgiveness: Matthew 6:15 tells us that if we do not forgive others our Father in heaven will not forgive our sin. This scripture makes it very clear that no matter what the offense is from the greatest to the smallest, we need to forgive. All of humanity needs the forgiveness of the Lord consistently and I couldn’t imagine Him not forgiving us when we need it, so I believe we should choose to forgive before bitterness has the opportunity to set into our hearts. I do believe that there are times where one may struggle with the process of forgiveness because of extreme circumstances related to the offense. In this case, give yourself time to fully forgive and also in the instance where you may be the offender, please be patient with others.
2) Forgiveness Isn’t About Feelings: Sometimes we choose not to forgive because the thought of releasing anger towards another person seems like letting them get off the hook when they don’t deserve it. Yet it is important to note that forgiveness really isn’t about condoning hurtful behavior or turning a blind eye to an offense, and when we forgive, we aren’t necessarily saying what someone has done to hurt us is “ok”. This is a hard concept to grasp as often it is somewhat human nature to desire retribution when we are acted upon in a hurtful or harmful manner. However, that human nature is not a Godly nature, as being Christ-like includes displaying Christ-like behavior, which includes forgiving others. Furthermore God is the ultimate judge of all behavior and His sovereignty releases us of the responsibility to punish others for their misdeeds towards us. Our only responsibility is being open to forgiving others as Christ has forgiven us.
3) Forgiveness Doesn’t Always Mean Reconciliation: The idea of returning to a relationship with someone who has hurt you deeply is more than some of us can bear when it comes to forgiving others. While there are times when we are called to allow the highs and lows of relationships to be smoothed over by the healing power of sincere forgiveness, there are other times when it is wise to end or alter a relationship depending on the type and degree of offense. This could be appropriate when a relationship may not be healthy to continue mentally, physically or spiritually and we should distance ourselves from it. However, even when prayerful consideration and Godly discernment lead us to end a relationship permanently or for a season, we must still first forgive and also be sure that we are not doing it out of a harboring of anger and resentment.
If you are in the midst of a challenging life situation that involves forgiveness and would like to dig a little deeper with someone who can help you one-on-one, please consider reaching out to me via email at Lolita@NavigatingTheHeart.com to arrange a free 20-minute consultation! Looking forward to hearing from you, and God bless.
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